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| Emotional Maturity |
| 03.31.04 (9:45 am) [edit] |
The co-director at my son's preschool told me last night that he is "emotionally immature."He's four. Jake turned four on January 27th, so frankly, I don't expect him to have the emotional maturity of an adult. Or a five-year-old. My kid is, in many ways, extraordinary. He's sweet, cuddly, silly, and very smart. He's got the Chicago el system memorized. He has known the alphabet and his numbers for almost two years now. He types well, and reads, too. He can be extremely loving and generous to his baby brother. He loves to share and to learn. He's incredibly musical. He is a complex little person, and frankly more mature than some teenagers I've known. So I took this woman's comment a little personally. I did not rip into her, or hopefully appear too defensive. But it really pissed me off. |
| 5 Comments |
| Dave Barry's got me going now... |
| 03.30.04 (11:55 am) [edit] |
|
Okay. First of all, yes, the savees do actually need to be on the premises. If you are saving seats for people who are on their way in from, say, Wisconsin, you need to move your darned coats and let me sit down. Conversely, if I have reserved a table for the one night a year I get to go out with adults, and some snotty little silicone babe won't seat us because one person is in the restroom, everyone in the vicinity deserves to roast in the fiery pits of hell. Movie theaters: Unless you're a 14-year-old girl, you shouldn't be going to the movies with a large crowd. What's the point of having three rows of seats "together" when I'm just going to pelt you with Goobers for chit-chatting during the film? It is perfectly acceptable to tag-team seats for two to maybe four people, especially if you are a family with small children you want couched between adults unlikely to molest them. For example, Mom & Daughter save seats while Dad & Son get a second mortgage and hit the snack bar, then they switch. In Chicago, we have billionplexes where the actual theater only seats, roughly, three people. Seat-saving in this case is prohibited. Table-saving How big is the table? How many does it seat? Again, there are apparently special rules for young teenage girls, who need at least three tables per person to ensure reaching their maximum public screech potential. For anyone else, family rules again apply. Nobody in their right mind who has an even faintly responsible adult in their vicinity would go through the hell of waiting in line at a food court with several antsy kids in tow. So one adult takes at least one kid and gets the napkins and table, while the other gets the food. Both adults don't require chairs, since they never get to sit down at the same time, so families can thus donate at least one extra chair to others waiting to sit. Another thing about food court food... who are we kidding that we are in such a rush to sit so we can eat while the food is hot? Do we really think the food is so extraordinary that it cannot be consumed cold? Or is the thinking that the food is so disgusting that consuming it cold would be fatal? Except those Auntie Annie pretzels or whetever the hell they are. Carb Crack, I call it. |
| 0 Comments |
| More Dave Barry blog replies |
| 03.30.04 (8:18 am) [edit] |
|
You really need to see Dave's Blog, which I could link if I figured the damn thing out. My reply to a bunch of stuff under "Johnny Depp Naked" March 29, 2004 JOHNNY DEPP, NAKED • posted by judi 10:35 AM Why wait for the movie? JT: Some belated replies: "Oy Vey" Anyone can use it. It's not really Jewish, but Yiddish. Since most people who speak Yiddish are Jewish, that's a common misconception. Thanks to Mike Myers and his mother-in-law, Yiddish has made a comeback of sorts over the last 20 years and is more popular. Which gets me all verklempt and vermished. I'm getting shpilkes in my ghonektegazoit. Schmooze amongst yourselves. "Judi" Love ya, girl. Keep on posting whatever the heck you want. You're a great counterpart to Dave. "Beefcake" Whoever said beefcake isn't funny has never seen Playgirl magazine, the singularly least sexy publication on the planet. And I say that as a rampantly heterosexual woman who loves guys and usually prefers their company. "Other Mike" A Mike posted in the Rude blog about Weiner Circle, and I wanted to applaud him if he's here. Weiner Circle (awesome hot dog place in Chicago) rocks. You haven't lived until some guy screams "What the fuck do you want, motherfuckers?" to take your order. Service with a smile! And finally, every time I read "Johnny Depp naked" I picture it. Between you guys and the can of Coke at my desk and the lousy four hours' sleep I had, I'm all freaked out, cross-eyed and vaguely aroused. But then I remember how much Johnny smokes, and think how he must smell. Which is probably not good. Which ruins the buzz. I need a drink. JT Posted by: JT on March 30, 2004 09:07 AM |
| 0 Comments |
| Stuff from the Dave Barry blog |
| 03.30.04 (8:15 am) [edit] |
|
"MANNERS POLL • posted by Dave 02:32 PM "OK, I have a question, based on something that happened to me yesterday. "I was at a tennis tournament, and I went to get some pizza for my daughter. There were three people ahead of me in line for pizza: a guy at the front of the line, and two women together behind him. So the guy at the front of the line -- we'll call him Guy A -- turns around and sees that he knows the guy behind me -- Guy B -- and tells him to come to the front of the line. "Guy B is reluctant, because he realizes it might be rude. So Guy A says to the women behind him, "Do you mind?" They say no. "I say nothing. "So Guy A says to Guy B, "Come on! They (meaning the two women) don't mind." Then, looking at me, he says: "HE minds, but he's not saying anything." Which was correct: I minded. "So Guy B goes to the front of the line. "My question is: Was this rude? I think it was. I detest people who butt into line because they happen to know somebody near the front. It reminds me of the worst aspects of junior high school. HOWEVER -- and I realize this may be inconsistent on my part -- it doesn't bother me when the people who move up are clearly related to the people in front, and came to the event together. Like, if a guy's in line, and he sees his wife walking by, it's OK for him to bring her up, or ask her is she wants him to get her something. "But to me, moving somebody up just because you know that person is rude to everybody behind you. "Am I right? Or wrong? Or what? " Comments ************************* ********************** Dave, that was really rude of you. No, wait, I'm sorry. Rude of Guy A, and rude and negligent of Guy B who could have at least had the balls to tell his friend to impale himself on a stale hot dog bun rather than keep your little girl from eating. Even more, it was stupid of Guy A, who should have recognized both you, and your ability to make him look like the jackass he is in the eyes of billions of loyal readers. As a mom of two small kids (ages 4 yrs and 18 mos), I always like to look at rude assholes as opportunities to loudly teach my elder son a lesson in manners. Especially since the little stinker will often speak up innocently. So the exchange after Guy B moved in front would have gone: Cute Little Shit Jacob: "Mommy, why did that man go to the front? He was in line behind us!" Smart-Ass Mom: "I know, honey. It's not right, but some people don't wait in line like they should. They don't think they have to take turns. But I bet you and your friends don't cut in front of each other when you're waiting in line at PREschool, do you?" CLSJ: "No way, Mommy! Boys who cut are boogerheads!" Love to all, JT Posted by: JT on March 29, 2004 05:19 PM ************************* ********************** Excellent! Posted by: Dave Barry on March 29, 2004 05:21 PM ************************* ********************** Dave Barry thinks I'm excellent. Or, the fact that I lied and said our son would say "boogerheads" is excellent. I'll take it where I can get it. |
| 0 Comments |
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