Yoinked from Almsthvn:

JT is....not a wizard or cult leader
JT is... serving your psych rock needs since 1985
JT is... a competitive and dedicated artist
JT is... downright Olympian
JT is... one of the early pioneers of the Southern pimp/player rhymes
JT is... zoned out completely 
JT is... the world's most widely-used data format
JT is... so musical 
JT is... being used by people
JT is... needed and feasible
JT is... more than capable of recalling complex song lyrics
JT is... immortal and can only die when beheaded

["Come Back To Bed," John Mayer]

Browser Hijack Motherfuckers.

Jacob wouldn't be caught dead with a piece of fruit or vegetable, so don't ask me why my poor little Danimal is suffering from some blockage. This is the boy who is almost three, and eats a variety of fresh fruits every day. But lately the poor thing has been suffering tummy aches and constipation. He can barely walk when it's bad, and he cries until the bout is over. We got him some OTC chewable tablets (milk of magnesia? dunno, my mom picked it up). I can only hope this is temporary because he's just so sad.

Danny had another round of it early yesterday, according to Saint Alberta the Nanny of Nannies. She said he ate well though, which is more than I can say for him the last few months. I think he protested our move from the city by going on a hunger strike. But yesterday he ate strawberries, grapes, corn, and spaghetti. He had a drinkable yogurt, too. When I got home from work, he was much better.

Usually when I get home, Danny attaches himself to me. He may be playing in the living room for a while, but within the hour, he brings whatever he's doing into my bedroom and comes to hang out with me. So when I fixed myself a little salad (with just lettuce, carrots, swiss cheese and ranch dressing), he was sitting with me. To my wonderment, he began to  mooch salad from me. I first offered him a piece of cheese, thinking that would be more desireable, but he declined and asked for "the green part." He made an initial "ick" face, but then begged for more "green." The kid ate half my salad, bite by bite. Every time he finished a piece, he'd say "Moy!" and then "Thank you!" when I gave him another. You'd think I was feeding him jellybeans. If there's anything more strangely cute than a two-year-old begging for lettuce, I don't know what it is.

Sadly, before bed Danny was back to being miserable, slowly walking hunched over. I took him to the bathroom but he just sat on the toilet and cried. :-( I gave him a dose of the milk of magnesia and a cup of lemonade, and then tucked him into bed. When he awoke this morning, he was cheerier, so let's all hope he has a better day today!

Okay, Stephen King rocks my world. Check out this auction for the First Amendment Project. The basic premise is you can bid for your name (or name of your choosing) to be used in an upcoming publication by one of several authors. Each author has set up his/her restrictions and explanations of how the name will be used, but King's is the best:

"What he's offering:
"'One (and only one) character name in a novel called CELL, which is now in work and which will appear in either 2006 or 2007. Buyer should be aware that CELL is a violent piece of work, which comes complete with zombies set in motion by bad cell phone signals that destroy the human brain. Like cheap whiskey, it's very nasty and extremely satisfying. Character can be male or female, but a buyer who wants to die must in this case be female. In any case, I'll require physical description of auction winner, including any nickname (can be made up, I don't give a rip).'"  [Emphasis mine]

Isn't he just the coolest guy? I'd bid on the opportunity to be in Dave Egger's book since we were friends in college, but I'd feel sychophantic and weird about it. Also, I don't really have the cash to burn.

If you do, though, check out where 100% of the proceeds go. (I wonder if that means eBay donates the fees?)

["Fallen," Sarah McLachlan

I read a column in Time magazine talking about the spread of schools teaching "Intelligent Design" along with evolutionary theory. I'm so glad the Scopes trial had such a grand impact on our educational system.

Many thanks to Steven for pointing me here. I haven't had the chance to check out all the responses this missive has generated, but I'm sure they're worth the time.

If I ever leave Judaism, it will be to join the First United Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. That's as good as any out there, as far as I can tell.

["The Song That Goes Like This," Spamalot soundtrack]