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| calming trend |
| 06.29.05 (5:41 am) [edit] |
A few days, a higher dose of Zoloft, and the support of some good friends led me to wake up feeling a bit better today. My lovely friend Jennie put a lot into perspective for me; I was feeling very dragged down and low about myself based on what these people think of me, and she pointed out how my company, as much as I love what it does, has a tendency to promote people for whom I have little to no respect. The people in management who have helped and mentored me are truly magnificent, almost all women, and seem to wink at the stupid choices that are sometimes made here. As Jennie said, "Wouldn't you rather be highly thought of by people whose opinions really matter to you... than highly thought of by people you don't give a crap about, even though they're the ones with all the money and the power?" Smart girl, my friend Jennie. Isn't she? And she's right. DH has basically been saying the same thing, but he's so damned worn out from his various injuries, running to work and then slaving at the old apartment to get it cleaned out, that he really doesn't have the energy to deal with a depressed JT (which, let's face it, is no picnic). Probably the thing that frustrates me the most is having so little control over my situation. I can't just pick up and quit, even if I really wanted to, because we need my check and the benefits. And even though it's not legal to discriminate, there are plenty of more PC reasons to reject a pregnant job candidate, even if I could think of something else I'd like to do. I feel a little derailed; I said to DH last night how I basically have no career. I've done what feels like a million things, but I have no specific direction. And he said, rightly so, that just about everyone is in the same boat. How many people you know get to do what they want for a living? We're all out there, hustling for a paycheck or insurance, or pinching pennies to try to stay home with our kids if that's what we want to, and can, do. I'm not thrilled with being 35 and realizing that I have no career path, but I guess it doesn't really matter all that much. I'm helping to pay the bills. I have a job with benefits that means if someone in my family gets sick, we can get healthcare. That's what's important. Okay, back to the Pit of Despair.... |
posted by: rinna (reply)
post date: 06.29.05 (4:48 am)
I'm sorry you feel down about things, JT. You're so lucky to have a friend like Jennie around.
posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 06.29.05 (5:50 am)
Reply to: rinna
Thanks Rinna! I think so, too.
posted by: themarina (reply)
post date: 06.29.05 (8:34 am)
DH and Jennie are right, you're very luck to have them with you. Look at it this way, though you may not have any "career direction" you have your friends and your family and that's more important than any job.
Now I'll tell you a stupid joke in an effor to make you smile:
Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Thats a hardware problem.
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 06.29.05 (8:35 am)
Reply to: themarina
HAR! that's brilliant!
posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 06.29.05 (8:53 am)
Reply to: themarina
I LOVE that joke!!!
