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| thank goodness... |
| 09.01.05 (12:30 pm) [edit] |
.... for the wacky folks at Random Fandom (otherwise known as Mike Keneally fans). They helped me find the Midnight Ukelele Disco.You don't want to hear me bitching or explaining why I e-mailed Orange yesterday to remind her that she's my drinking surrogate while I'm pregnant. Suffice it to say that my superior stood next to me and performed a 20-minute rant on people taking sick time and what a waste of a company's money it is, and the fact that everyone lies about why they're taking sick time. My superior thinks that people should be rewarded for not missing any days of work.... with free days off. Y'all remember that's the big reason I didn't get a raise this year, right? Right. Anyway, I downed an O'Doul's at the bowling alley last night, when my company had a free bowling night. We had a blast, even if I sucked so badly that Danny could have beaten me. Apparently this new kid in my belly is really throwing off my normally adequate game. Maybe he prefers tennis. I stopped at Jewel on my way home to pick up more Lunchables for Jake (Hot Dog version ONLY, or his wrath will smite me). DH called while I was there to let me know he's worried about Jakey not acclimating to school. He's concerned that something's turning our normally thrilled-with-learning kid against school. Apparently, Jake wasn't even happy about having time to draw at school, and you should see the notebooks FILLED with drawings we have at home. I tried to assure DH that this was an adjustment period and that the kid is probably just really tired. Less than two miles from home, my "Check Battery" light came on. I promptly shut off the AC and radio, and peeked in the manual at a red light. (It says "Stop and Check." Thanks, Toyota!) By the time I got near home, my steering had given out. I put all of my (considerable) weight behind the wheel and docked at the curb. The car didn't so much shut off as wheeze to sleep. I was so excited to call in to my boss, and then drag outside this morning, praying the poor car would wake up enough to get the three blocks to a service station (it did, with me cooing at it the whole way). I couldn't steer it into a parking space, so I just sort of left it at an awkward angle near the garage bays. For the fourth morning in a row, 16 kids and assorted parental types hung out on my corner, wondering if the bus would show up. We've given up for the past three days and driven our kids to school, but today, we staged a nonviolent resistance movement, refusing to do anything but call the principal's office and wait for a bus to show up. When it did, coming down the wrong street at 9:05, the driver admitted he was yet another sub. "Did you know you're supposed to drive northbound on Judson here?" I asked. "Judson? Isn't this Forest?" he said. [Oh, my G-d.] "You are going to Dewey Elementary, right? Do you know where it is?" "Um.... Dewey, right. Where is it?" I hopped off the bus and turned to the remaining parents. We huddled, and all the moms piled onto the bus, ensuring that the bigger kids knew how to get to school, and that once there, they'd all troop into the office together for late passes. In the meantime, a second bus pulled up. The driver said he was sent to pick up the kids who hadn't been picked up yet. He had Dewey's address and a map somewhere, and thought he could find it. When the two buses pulled slowly away, we grownups turned to one another. "And they were never seen again," said one dad, dramatically. "Jacob! If you don't come back, I'll name the baby after you!" I shouted into the exhaust. Two SAHM's said they'd do their morning run to the school to see when the kids got there (if at all). I promised the other parents that I knew Jake had a great sense of direction, and worst case scenario, he'd lead them all back to our place. If the kids weren't heard from by 5 pm, the parents should ring our buzzer. The car repair included a new battery and an alternator belt ("When I opened the hood," the mechanic told me, "it just wasn't there. Must have burned out and fallen off on the road somewhere. That's why your battery went." Ooops.) However, the guys at the Shell were super nice and gave me a break on the labor, and didn't charge anything to have the right parts messengered from their central distribution center. So $175 and four hours later, I had my car again. While I was home, I got in some snuggle time with Danny and showed him how to Aquadoodle, courtesy of Grandma's birthday gift. Then Alberta took advantage of the quiet time with me to let me know that Jacob has been an unholy terror since we moved. Whenever she scolds him or says "no," she said, he throws horrible tantrums; screaming, hitting, and slamming doors. I was horrified. She said she hadn't wanted to burden me because she knew I've been sick with the pregnancy and working such long hours. To me, that's a lousy excuse -- I think she was, frankly, afraid. She knows another nanny who was fired because the mom didn't believe what she said about her kid. I believe it, though I don't want to. The thing that pisses me off (and DH too, now that I've told him), is that he's only really doing this with Alberta. That means two things to me: (1), he's more comfortable with her than any of us, so he can be at his worst; and (2), she's spoiling him, so he knows he can get away with all kinds of shit. DH and I IM'd each other once I got to work, bolstering each other. I just wish my kid weren't so damned angry, but he comes by all this emotion honestly. The shrinky part of me wonders if this isn't all a bad reaction to moving, which seemed to really rock the kids' worlds. He's trying to assert control in a world where he has little. I don't know how Alberta can discipline him -- he's not her kid. But I told her that she's not to take any shit from him. She has absolute authority to punish him (time-outs, no toys, etc) when we're not home, and we'll back her up. The TV can't be on all the time; the kids can listen to music more and zone out less. If she threatens him with calling us, she should do it. DH wondered if it wasn't time to change childcare, but I'm really attached to Alberta. I know that she kind of spoils the boys, but she honestly loves them and cares for them as if they were her own kids. I can trust her with them, and that speaks an awful lot for a working mom. I wondered privately if this wasn't somehow my fault for being a working mom and not being home enough; then, when I am home, not having the energy to really do things with the kids. But we don't have much of a choice. And if I did have the funds to stay home, what kind of mom would I be? We're not the kind of wealthy folk who could buy a big house and put our kids in a myriad of enrichment classes. I can't see myself as one of those adorably fit, tanned, hip Evanston moms whose husbands own franchises and trade whatever it is people trade at the BOT. I'm not really sure what to do. Fixing the car is so much easier than fixing my kid, or our lives. At least DH and I have each other, is all I keep thinking. And I keep praying that my kid will be okay. |
posted by: Not in the Room (reply)
post date: 09.01.05 (11:50 am)
Sorry to hear about the problem with J. Sounds like he's having a difficult time adjusting to the house and I'm sure that the pending addition isn't making the transition any easier. If I think of any sage advice, I'll discuss it with you, although given R's attitude lately, I'm probably not the best source of info on this topic at the moment.
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 09.02.05 (4:35 am)
Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting. It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
It's an adjustment, and it will pass. You give your kids a warm, loving home. You make sure they're cared for during the day by a loving person. It's going to be ok. Honest.
posted by: islandArtist (reply)
post date: 09.02.05 (6:56 pm)
Your kids will give you grey hair if you let them. You sound like you are doing a great job to me and your children are doing everything they are supposed to (unfortunately) LOL.
Things will get better.
posted by: islandArtist (reply)
post date: 09.02.05 (6:57 pm)
Your kids will give you grey hair if you let them. You sound like you are doing a great job to me and your children are doing everything they are supposed to (unfortunately) LOL.
Things will get better.
posted by: Orange (reply)
post date: 09.07.05 (11:43 am)
Okay, now that I've read this, I will definitely keep up my surrogate-drinker obligations. There's a brand-new 12-pack of Leinie's Red in my house already.
Sorry about the car, the bus, the boss, the mommy guilt, and the kid having a tough time adjusting to change. And sorry that you have hot dog Lunchable obligations like that. Wrath? Smiting? Ouch!
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