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| she chokes |
| 07.06.06 (9:42 pm) [edit] |
In answer to your unasked question, I choked. I got up, went for a bike ride where the wind managed to be in my face going both north and south, took a bath, packed my stuff, got my hair cut (CUT... really cut), had my face done, put on Spanx (ow), put on heels (more ow), hobbled in, did the awkward meeting thing, and then endured roughly 15 or 20 minutes of me being completely stupid. For a former actress, I sure suffered from some major stage fright. It's very hard to be the subject of a group interview. It doesn't help when you know your advance press was pretty serious and the person doing your PR is there in the interview with you, willing you to succeed so that not only are you selected, but that person looks really good, too. I can't even tell you what we talked about because it's all a blur. When I think about it, I just hear the Peanuts teacher in my head, going "wah wah wah WAAH." I'm pretty sure I made one small charming joke that was well received, but after that, I remember the kind, warm smile of the head guy and the fact that one of the guys almost didn't speak at all. After it was over, my mom took me to Maggiano's, where we shared a chopped salad, drank iced tea, and did our best to distract me from the fact that across town, the interviewers were at Puck's, discussing what might or might not be my future. Before the interview, I felt sick in that I'm-so-nervous way. Now I feel nauseous in that boy-did-I-blow-it way. I had really prepared for this, too -- lots of reading, writing out answers to the questions I thought they'd ask (and some I knew ahead of time). My advocate asked on the phone why I didn't say any of that stuff, and I just stammered that I choked. I did manage to salvage some of the good, well-thought-out statements for my thank-you letters, sent by e-mail (sorry, Ms. Vanderbilt) be cause they want to make a decision tomorrow. It's between me and one other candidate, a man. I'm really well-suited for the job, and I really need the change. And, frankly, I just don't need disappointment right now. But the sick feeling in my stomach isn't helping me feel confident. I fucking hate interviews. |
| 0 Comments |
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