I should totally be asleep right now, since it's almost 9:30 and my alarm is set for 4:45 am. But I'm not sleepy enough yet, so I'll write this up instead.
The continuation of our Parent Effectiveness Training has led us to the purchase of the Family Effectiveness Training home training program (now -- it's Effectiveness Training; the Home Game!). DH has started going through some of it with Jacob in the hopes that it will help cut through some of his anger issues and help us deal with him (and Danny too) in a more healthy way.
Part of this training has led DH to suggest that we have Family Meetings. Our first meeting, two weeks ago, was DH's idea, so that we could democratically come up with a plan for the weekend. Since our weekends generally revolve around some combination of errands, kid activities, and/or family stuff, the boys feel like they don't often get a choice in what we do.
So we sat down in the dining room/nursery while Benjamin napped, and I played scribe while each person got a chance to say what they wanted to do that weekend.
Jacob: Play Rivers, Rails & Roads Draw Watch TV Learn something Play outside Watch the Cubs game
DH: Go to work Give Danny a haircut Clean Jacob's mattress Take out the garbage Clear out clutter Spend time on the computer Watch the Cubs game
Me: Take a shower & do my hair (we were going out to dinner that night) Go shopping for clothes for new job See my brother Finish scrapbook for my mom's birthday Wrap mom's presents Make sure everyone eats lunch
Danny: Play "I Spy Bingo" Watch TV Play outside Play in the Playhut Go in the car Eat something that is chocolate Go to sleep Look out the window Big hug for everybody
Is that not the cutest thing ever? Danny's list just killed me. I got very choked up at that point, not only because I had awful PMS. How sweet was my kid that he wanted to plan time to look out the window, and have a big hug with everybody? DH didn't get the looking out the window thing, but when I come home from work, Danny is often sitting on the parson's table we keep in the front window, watching what goes on below him. Alberta has always said that he seems to know when I'm coming home -- and will often go to the window and wait as that time draws near.
The meeting worked out really well. We were able to go through and get almost everything that everybody wanted to do in. DH didn't end up getting to do as much work around the house as he wanted, and I was up until 2 am finishing my mom's book, but in general we did okay. So we'll probably continue to try to do this. I'd like to keep my notes from these meetings as snapshots -- pictures of who my kids were at these points in time.