I hate New Year's resolutions. Have you noticed how many commercials there are right now for various weight-loss and stop-smoking gimmicks and services? It's as blatant to me as Christmas sales. Blech. I figure if there's a time in your life you're ready to make a change, you can do it on your own damned schedule.

Anyway.... instead of resolutions, I'll look back on the past year with a selection of Things I Wish I'd Said (or Could Have Said), in no particular order:

1. "Do I look too skinny in this?"

2. "I don't know what we're going to do with all this room."

3. "Hey, you know something? You're a bitch and a small person and you're fucking up on purpose to ruin my job. But no matter what, I'm smarter and more professional than you are, and everything you do to sabotage me only makes you look worse. So take your reverse prejudice and shove it up your snotty ass.... and then get the fuck back to work."

4. "Hey, I can see!"

5. "I just love it when it gets cold."

6. "Do you think I'm weird for wanting to have sex this much?"

7. "I'm worried about the kids eating so many vegetables."

8. "We never satisfied our medical deductibles."

9. "I haven't taken my meds in weeks -- and I don't miss it!"

10. "Your child's life is ruined because her name's not in the school directory? How sad is your life?"

 Now that I've been snotty, here are my wishes for the New Year:

Jacob
For Jake, I wish boundless joy and fewer anxieties. You take things so hard, and get so wound up (can't imagine where that comes from... I mean, your mom is so laid back). I hope that you find safe outlets for your competitiveness, and at the same time don't lose your sense of wonder and imagination.

Danny
Oh, Dannyman. I worry about you, with your crazy lack of immunity (ahem, my fault) and all this special ed stuff we're getting into. But you're still such a cuddly puppy of a kid. For you, I wish blissful ignorance of the skills you have to work harder than other kids to develop, but pride and joy in those strengths you're already working to build. I hope you have a year free of night terrors and daytime struggles, and full of friends and fun.

Benjamin
Munchy, my little baby who refuses to stay a baby! We've turned your world inside out lately, what with Alberta being gone and all the craziness at home. I wish that you go back to sleeping blissfully through the night (okay, that might be a wish for me). I hope we find lots of great things for you to do and discover this year, so that you're not just the littlest kid tagging along behind the others. I wish for you new friends and more and more reasons to smile that giant, big-blue-eyed smile of yours. And I wish you never stop saying (or feeling) "I wuv YOU!"

DH
For my husband, who I can't believe still wants anything to do with me after a dozen years, I wish less stress and more fun. I hope that your work brings you satisfaction instead of frustration, and that I bring you more of the former and less of the latter, too.

My Friends
Wow, do I have some cool friends. I remember when I was a little girl, my father telling me that if I had enough friends to fill up the fingers on one hand, I'd be lucky. Two of the women I'm so proud to call my friends spend their working hours making others' lives better -- one has a business that makes women feel good, and the other a business that makes dogs (and their people) feel good. Both, I'm sure you'd agree, are very valid pursuits. I have friends I'm so impressed with -- talented writers, artists, advisers, and entrepreneurs -- and on top of all that, they're wonderful friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, wives and partners. I wish for them plenty of success this year in their pursuits, topped with lots of joy and love.

Finally, for me...
I hope that I keep in mind the pendant I now wear daily that is etched with "to be rich in love is to be rich in life." I am rich with the love and joy that my husband, children, family and friends bring to my life. But if I can wish for myself a few materialistic things, I'd say I hope that there is a little more financial confidence in my life. I'm really hoping this is our year to get our own home; I just want a little more space for each of us, and a little room to spread out. I'm looking forward to having friends over and hosting my sons' friends. To grilling in summers again. So that's what I wish for 2008 -- that next year at this time, I'll be writing whatever is going on from the comfort of our own home.

And for you, whoever you are, I wish you peace, joy and love this year.