Hi there. It's been a while, shall we catch up? No, you talk. I always talk about ME. What's new with you?

Actually, fuck that, because I can't hear you. Right now, I've got my fingers in my ears and I'm humming "LA LA LA" while you talk.

Uh, I think I missed my meds yesterday. Sorry.

So anyway, life is total chaos so I guess that's a good time to blow off my responsibilities and start blogging again, right? I'm sure things will all be fine, as they usually end up that way, and I'm just in my usual I-hate-fall funk. But for now....

....everyone is sick. I had the flu last week, with the rolling around in bed in pajamas, robe, and blankets, while I sweated and shook and moaned about how cold it is. The sympathy level in my household was low because DH was coming down with a wicked cold, Danny was coughing until you could practically see his lungs bursting out of his chest, and Benjamin wanted milk NOW, bitch! I got better, meaning the fever went down, but the glands around my neck remain swollen and I am weak as a kitten. DH got through his cold okay, except for very startling occasional coughs that make me worry he's going to break a rib. Danny went back to school after several days off and came home with a large stack of homework. And Benjamin came down with an ear infection, though thankfully Benjamin's version of an ear infection means occasional crying broken up by lots of mellow snuggling in Big Bed while he radiates heat like a campfire. He's also less destructive (not by much, but I'm sure there's a percentage there), so who can blame me for being relieved, just a wee bit?

...Oh, that Danny. In between Dannyisms that make give me conniptions (driving in the rain: "Oh, G-d, why do you have to pee on us?"), we spend up to an hour each weekday helping Danny with his homework. Those goofy little sheets Jacob used to fly through in seconds take Danny SO long. Between wiggling, some whining, getting up to see where Jacob is in Lego Star Wars, and having to write the Word Wall Words over again, we cringe and cramp while we silently and mostly internally cry over how FUCKING HARD it is for him. It could be so much worse (just keep thinking that), because heaven knows he has comprehension and no mental retardation, which could be so much more heartbreaking. But he looks so strong! He's so bright and funny! And he tries to write and it's just PAINFUL.

...and what the fuck is wrong with me that I have to take so much on? I'm PTA co-president this year, which should mean just lots more emails, but nobody warned me we're supposed to meet once a week. Which I find just horribly hard to fit in with Jacob's ridiculous schedule, work implosions, various medical situations, and being really really tired all the time. Doesn't help that the other two co-prexies are basically stay-at-home moms with tons more moola than I have, so it's not like they have to worry about who's going to watch the rugrats while we hold weekday cabinet meetings. But they won't meet at night, which would certainly make my life easier. Next year, I'll be the senior president, and guess when we'll meet? At night. Or on weekends, at night. Over wine. NEXT item!

... work, don't get me started. Just follow me around with a tape recorder while I bitch and moan about my boss being there half time but complaining about my lack of face time,while he adds more and more responsibilities onto my plate. My students think I'm a superhero, which is great, but they don't directly pay my salary. We are so poorly staffed right now that our accreditiing body is actually sanctioning us, but my boss refuses to hire more people. "We can just look into getting some adjunct faculty." But we need more outcomes now. When did a word like "Outcomes" come into vogue? What a stupid fucking word. Agh. Oh, and as my hero Tina Fey says, Blerg.

... I say this fairly often: "What's with the creepy bloody nightmares?" Dead bodies hacked up and put into the wall and under the carpet? Creepy scary guys coming after me! Injections, spiders, Republicans, snakes, knives, explosions, drownings; they're all there in my dreams for someone ELSE to enjoy. I actually dreamed I was fighting off some woman I thought of as Holland Taylor but who looked very different (shape shifter) and woke myself up by literally kicking her in the head.... though I actually kicked the windowsill and nearly broke my big toe again. Thank goodness I was sleeping on my right side at the time; otherwise I'd have drop-kicked a cat right into DH's face. WAKE UP!

There, I've run out of steam. Aren't you relieved? I actually feel a little better -- I can feel a marginal amount of neck tension seeping off of mine and onto yours, so thanks for that.