Oh, the thinks I think. Y'all got me going, just to see if I could do it.

1. I believe in bathroom privacy.
2. Some things should remain a mystery.
3. Romance, while perhaps not dead, is not feeling all that well.
4. I am horribly judgemental about poor grammar and spelling.
5. I have a crush on Orlando Bloom.
6. And Johnny Depp.
7. DH and I had dinner with Mike Keneally once at Baker's Square.
8. Mike Keneally finished my fries for me, and even tasted some of my piece of French Silk.
9. And my husband bragged to his friends, "Mike Keneally ate my wife's pie!"
10. I love dirty dancing.
11. The movie's okay, too.
12. But I have to be a little drunk.
13. I have a great singing voice.
14. I'm a little too proud of having big blue eyes.
15. I miss having a sex drive.
16. I worry, a lot.
17. I'm not very patient.
18. I can watch movies and read books many times.
19. I once dated two guys named "Brad" at the same time.
20. Sometimes it's easier to lie.
21. I'm lazy about cleaning up.
22. I wish I weren't.
23. But I'm too lazy to change.
24. When I wake up, I'm up for good.
25. Even if it's really early.
26. And I like to get out of the house early, too.
27. I walk around in socks at home.
28. I like wearing sexy shoes.
29. Ditto sexy underthings.
30. But they're mostly too uncomfortable to bother.
31. Sometimes I'd like to be someone else.
32. Someone rich, thin, and stacked.
33. Okay, I'm stacked anyway. But I've had two kids, ya know?
34. I've had weight loss surgery.
35. Cosmetic surgery really freaks me out.
36. I hate having someone privileged, stupid, and headstrong representing my country.
37. I have never voted Republican.
38. Howard Stern's voice turns me on.
39. So do really talented musicians.
40. I have never had a lesbian fantasy.
41. And I'm actually not lying about that.
42. I can't actually remember how many men I've slept with.
43. But it's not as bad as that sounds.
44. Okay, it's not great, but it's not that bad.
45. I'd like to be a successful singer.
46. But I'm resigned to that being a fantasy.
47. I wish I were better at doing my own hair and makeup.
48. I want to be a hot mom.
49. I have trouble making friends with other Jewish women.
50. I am really insecure.
51. Maybe that's why.
52. I don't know if I'll ever be financially secure.
53. That bothers me a lot.
54. I'm really maternal.
55. You can't make someone love you.
56. You can't make someone love the same things you do.
57. I don't understand the allure of Nascar.
58. Or hunting.
59. I am too uptight to go camping.
60. Or scared of the dark and bugs.
61. I have ridiculously bad eyesight.
61. I've had two operations on my eyes.
62. And two on my reproductive system.
63. And one on my throat.
64. I don't think Coldplay is all that.
65. I want to be mysterious.
66. But I have a big mouth.
67. I also wear my heart on my sleeve.
68. Which can be awkward to accessorize.
69. Isn't as much fun as you might think.
70. Because you can't concentrate on what you're doing, or what's being done to you, that's why.
71. I'm tired a lot.
72. I've lost 60 pounds in the last year.
73. And 40 inches.
74. I rock at giving head.
75. No matter how much my husband tries, I will never be into Frank Zappa.
76. Or Orthodoxy.
77. I'd like to have another baby.
78. I'd really like it to be a girl.
79. I'd be willing to do some biological two-stepping to make that happen.
80. I get jealous.
81. That thing that guys do in movies, where they hold the actress' face when they kiss her? That turns my knees to pudding.
82. I have very shapely, strong legs.
83. My legs and arms are actually too long for my body.
84. I was meant to be 5'10" but something weird happened when I was growing.
85. I'm only 5'6" on a good day, but I look much taller.
86. I take things personally.
87. I love shopping.
88. For almost anything.
89. I'm completely underwhelmed about my job.
90. Planning parties makes me high.
91. I'm like Monica on Friends -- I want to have "the" apartment where everyone gathers.
92. I'm a pretty good cook.
93. I hate illegal drugs.
94. I don't want to bump into people I used to know until I'm thinner.
95. I don't even want to see cousins until then.
96. I think my son's teacher is kind of hot.
97. (It's a guy. I told you I don't fantasize about women.)
98. Flirting is more fun than should be allowed.
99. And I'm really, really good at it.
100. Some things are better left unsaid.

Sound effects: "Coming Back In," Toby Lightman