Is that too much to ask? I think that's from where my whole Pirates obssession stems. I don't care how old I get; I will always crave the rush you feel when you're falling in love (or even lust). [Frankly, C and A, you're depressing the shit out of me, okay? I'm really happy to see you two flirting and you're both cute as all hell, but I think I'm a little too emotionally involved with living vicariously through your attraction. That's my problem, though, not yours. Love you both.]
The thing is, I'm actually really lucky. I'm married to a nice guy who's pretty cute, and I have two adorable, mostly happy little boys. My child care situation is fairly well under control, and I haven't had to panic over grocery money in a month or so.
Perhaps the problem is that I thrive on drama. When I get close to something even as stupid as Valentine's Day, I still spend time dreaming of some grand gesture. Ya know, it doesn't have to be someone sweeping you off to Paris to be romantic. The littlest thing can do it; an unexpected kiss, opening a door, some message that tells that person you're thinking of them.
And some of you out there are reading this and yelling at me. "So, get off your ass and initiate, bitch! Quit whining!" Here's my answer to you folks; you're right, and you're wrong. See, you can initiate all you want but still not get what you want. I don't want a response; I want to be responsive.
You get to a point sometimes where you just get sick of being the one in charge. The one to always make the move, make the decision, make the effort. You just get to a point where it doesn't seem worth the energy to be the cheerleader.
Wow, this is the second post I've written today that's depressed the shit out of me. (I deleted the first one.) Sorry, y'all. I'll go buy a Coke and wake myself up, then find something funny to put on later.
posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 02.18.05 (6:15 am)
Reply to: angiekruger
I know, I know. Bad habit -- caffeine, sugar, caramel color. Yikes. I had a cup of tea instead, but it's just a matter of time before that damned devil-red can calls my name....
posted by: irishred (reply)
post date: 02.20.05 (3:21 pm)
Don't listen to angie...coke is good. Coke, the POP that actually means coke up north. I'm sorry but I have to stand my ground here. If this keeps up, I will be drinking sweet tea with my grits telling everyone back home why Jefferson Davis was a hero.