Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2008 July
2008 June
2008 May
2008 April
2008 March
2008 February
2008 January
2007 December
2007 November
2007 October
2007 September
2007 August
2007 July
2007 June
2007 May
2007 April
2007 March
2007 February
2007 January
2006 December
2006 November
2006 October
2006 September
2006 August
2006 July
2006 June
2006 May
2006 April
2006 March
2006 February
2006 January
2005 December
2005 November
2005 October
2005 September
2005 August
2005 July
2005 June
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
2005 February
2005 January
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 April
2004 March
2004 January
2003 December
My Links
yirmlog
One Good Thing
Orange Tangerine
Mimi Smartypants
Jennifer Weiner's Blog (Author of In Her Shoes & Good In Bed)
Almsthvn's Blog
Aliciarose's Blog
Puplife's DogBlog
Gaper's Block: Chicago Blog
ChicagoBlogs Web Ring
What She Said!
Veiled Conceit
Blogs By Women
Radio show captained by Mike Keneally and Rich Pike.
Katy's Skary Kids
Ask Liz Ryan Community
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
| i'm pissed |
| 05.12.05 (7:36 am) [edit] |
I know that much of this is due to the hormonal surge in addition to my own tendency towards drama, but damn it, I'm irritated.Okay. The truth? I didn't plan this pregnancy. I wanted another baby, as did DH, and figured I'd try to wait another year -- giving me more time to lose weight, get us situated in a new area, get Jacob into kindergarten, etc. I have made no secret of my desire for another kid, especially because I really, really want to have a girl. And it's monstrously hard for me to admit, even here, that I didn't plan this out. Partially because I try to plan EVERYTHING because I am a grade-A control freak, and partially because it's a little embarrassing to be turning 35 and have screwed up my birth control. However, as I discussed with my therapist, I could have planned and planned and been totally fucked anyway. Remember how I planned to have a second child? Yeah, that didn't much work on my own. I have Dr. Confino and G-d to thank for Danny, and probably not in that order. Well, I could have planned to wait until next year, and been totally incapable of getting pregnant. Hell, we don't even know for sure (because nobody does) that this pregnancy will be ultimately successful, although my having had two babies does help the odds somewhat. So you can imagine how difficult this has been for me, since both my parents have asked, separately, of course, if I could consider an abortion. "Absolutely not!" I told my mom. She replied in surprise that she would have thought me pro-choice. "I am pro-choice," I replied. "And I choose to have this baby." The next episode came when my mom reported on her visit to New York, to see my 94-year-old grandmother. Mom was with Nana and my cousin (who is pregnant with her third, but is a Manhattan attorney married to another Manhattan attorney and lives near Central Park in a multi-million-dollar condo), when I called to tell Mom that we'd signed on our Evanston apartment. Of course, everyone wanted to know about the new place, so Mom obliged, telling them basically it was a three-bedroom vintage apartment in a nice neighborhood. "Three bedrooms," my cousin said. "Is she pregnant again?" "G-d, I hope not!" snapped my grandmother. Thinking nothing of how I might respond to this story, my mother shared it with me. "Could you please tell the family that I will not be living half-naked with my eight bastard children in a leaky trailer, while they scrabble for stale generic chee-tos off the floor?" I snarked at my mom. Needless to say, I have declined to announce the pregnancy to my family. I'm letting my mother do the "honors," though I have a feeling she has let slip to at least one person that my pregnancy was an "oops." Yesterday, she said she told my aunt and uncle in Cleveland that I was expecting, and that "they were surprised." What the fuck does that mean? Since when do people announce their intentions of getting pregnant in advance anyway? I can just see the Christmas bulletins now: "Dear family and friends, we're so pleased to tell you that little Buster, Jr. got all C's for the first time this quarter, and Bettina only sucks her thumb at home now that she's thirteen. Oh, and Dale and I are having lots and lots of sex in the missionary position and then having me stand on my head for twenty minutes because we're hoping to knock me up again. Merry Christmas!" I have decided that the only thing people are allowed to say to me is either "congratulations," or "hope you're feeling well," or "boy, I bet everyone's excited!" Stuff along the lines of "too bad you're not rich enough to do this right," or "wow, you're such a medical anomoly/so fucking fat/so neurotic that I didn't think you could/should get pregnant again" will not be tolerated. |
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (5:45 am)
Let me at'em! I'll fix their wagons. Make my JT angry and sad? I'll... I'll... fill their gas tanks with rancid breast milk! I'll pull their tongues out and paint them blue a la Foghorn Leghorn! Only I'll use baby barf! That's it!!
Wow. How did such crass people begat someone as cool as you?!
posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (6:17 am)
Just you wait until the first unwitting dumbfuck stranger tries to feel up my belly.
Bottom line? Don't fuck with pregnant women. They've already been fucked with enough.
posted by: chicalookate (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (6:21 am)
Congratulations. I bet you are really excited. Um, what else....? :D I am amazed at how insensive some people can be. Just let Alms loose on them and they will get their act together.
posted by: hardtoimagine (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (6:28 am)
I can't believe your family would react that way. They should be thrilled that you are bringing another family member into the world! Try not to let them get you down too much. I'm sure that your baby will get all the love it needs from you, DH, and the boys.
p.s. hope you are feeling a little better! :)
posted by: trekguy (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (6:36 am)
OK sweetie, we all love you here!
So you are a control freak, just don't be a masochist too! Take it easy on yourself and take a break, I’d say chill pill, but I guess you shouldn’t if you’re expecting!
Easier said then done, ignore the ignorant bastards and smile and say something like “Fuck you and your progeny” when some pampas smartass says shit like that to you!
posted by: newbie (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (6:45 am)
I dont know what your financial situation is but I know in my family, they often worry about additional kids because they worry that the kids wont be supported well. Of course, in my family, not being able to afford a membership to the country club is their idea of not being financially able to have kids. It kind of sounds like your family might be the same. I dont have kids but if I did decide to have them, I would just ignore my family.
If it makes you feel better, I got similar comments eight years ago when I got my first dog. Yes. My family apparently seriously doubted my ability to be responsible for a dog. I cant imagine their reaction if I were to ever get knocked up.
Anyhow, congratulations to you. As a childless person who sometimes regrets that decision and who got fat even without having kids and who isnt really all that rich even without having kids, I think you are making the right choice. Obviously it is the right choice for you since it is the one you chose. You know what I mean?
posted by: Lynne (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (6:46 am)
Oops that last post was me. I thought I was logged in but I guess not
posted by: lindy (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (7:21 am)
I hope you handle the uninvited rubs and pats with grace. For some reason, people enjoy that. It would be nice if you could walk around with a bald man and offer his head in exchange, perhaps people would get the picture then, but it isn't likely.
You might want to prepare yourself for more unthinking comments. My girls are ten months and three weeks apart and though I had purposefully stayed off birth control to have them close together, it would seem fate granted my wish beyond my wildest dreams. I lost count of the number of times perfect strangers would ask me, 'Was that planned?' They obviously do not know any better and are as unmindful as it gets. Good luck in handling your business and congratulations on the welcome addition to your family.
posted by: jerneedog (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (7:24 am)
Congrats on the news!
It sucks that your family is like that. I do hope you don't let it bring you down too much.
Keep your head up and just think, you'll be bring in another wonder child.
Take care!
posted by: mblog (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (10:41 am)
If your family is pro-choice, they should understand whose choice it is.
Since I don't know any of them, I don't know what to say. It's your decision to have a baby, but you already know that.
If my grandmother had made such a remark, I probably would have laughed. She was a bit out of it. But each person is different.
You need to keep in mind that they sincerely think that they are acting in your best interest. Even if that's not the consequence or their actions, and even though they should know better, letting it get to you won't help. It's their problem. You don't need the stress, and if you are determined not to let it bother you, it won't.
Just let them know that you are pregnant and you don't need any aggravation. If they want to discuss you not having it, you will have to avoid them until the baby comes. They will get the message.
As a father of three, I can tell you that three kids is a lot more work than two. You and your husband might regret all the extra work it creates. But you will NEVER regret having the child.
posted by: themarina (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (11:13 am)
Pregnancy should be a joyous occasion and, in reality, just because you have money doesn't mean you should be having kids.
I don't think i've already said so but CONGRATULATIONS! :)
posted by: Orange (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (2:14 pm)
Your family is psycho. You're spacing the kids roughly 3 years apart, which is a lot. And financially you're getting by a lot better than millions of other Americans (not to mention the rest of the world).
So congratulations! (But I bet the ultrasound, if you choose to learn the sex, will show a boy. My cousin and his wife now have three girls after trying a third time for a boy. You will have their boy instead! May I suggest Michael Jr. for the name?)
posted by: JT (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (2:27 pm)
Reply to: Orange
I won't argue with you on my psycho family. We get it on all sides between me & DH. And you're the second person today to bet that I'm having a third boy, which is why I'm probably not going to find out the gender this time....
However, I'm carrying high, and old wives would say that points to a girl!!!
posted by: almsthvn (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (4:34 pm)
Michael Jr, whose baby are you having! Blanket II ?
posted by: islandArtist (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (5:50 pm)
Sucks about the family comments- noone in my family would ever make a comment to me like that (prego or not) because I'd go ballistic on their ass. I've got anger issues LOL!!
Nobody ever rubbed my belly because I think most people thought I was just Really, really, fat. I did get roughly bumped into while in crowds which chapped my ass to no end.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 05.12.05 (6:04 pm)
Gawd I hated that rubbing the belly crap! So what if I'm pregnant? It's the equivalent of seeing a man with a nice ass, rubbing it and saying "Awww I it's just so cute I couldn't resist" People. Sheesh. So sorry about the family, I totally understand, I deal with a very similar one on a day to day basis.
posted by: aliciarose (reply)
post date: 05.13.05 (8:58 am)
well first off, congrats on your pregnancy. I've been a little out of the loop. And someone is always going to have something to say. ya know. Fuck em!
And a new apartment in Evanston? You go girl! :)
posted by: altricial (reply)
post date: 05.13.05 (7:36 pm)
hmmm, well, I had 5 in 6 years, not including the miscarraige... So you could satisfy yourself with a quick retort of "Well, it's not as bad as SOME I know of....."
Seriously though, anyone else's reaction to your reproductive choices are their problem, not yours. Their opinions simply do not matter. End of story and case closed. Family or not.
posted by: ScubaDiva (reply)
post date: 05.16.05 (12:52 pm)
Could be worse - it could be quintuplets.
Visit the
Honeysuckle Shop.
Buy early, come often.